When I set myself the challenge to leave 300 genuine blog comments over 30 days [across Sept/Oct 2015] my motivations included:
- to stop pitying myself for receiving relatively few comments [i.e: single figures per post];
- to maintain the relationships I had within my regular blogging network;
- and - primarily - to reach out from the safety of that network to make new connections in the blogging world.
What had begun as an impromptu challenge had subsequently grown into a month’s worth of solid, focused, yet entirely accidental market research into blogging.
Like so much in life, this ‘research’ was actually just a bi-product, something that really only came along for the ride, while I’d set myself a task to do something else. Carving out dedicated ‘research’ time 5 days a week for four weeks is just not something I would ever have deliberately scheduled in. But ... tempt me with a silly project that I can create a hashtag for and get other people involved in? Well hey hey good looking, count me in!
Perhaps there is already a lesson for me to learn in that fact alone …
[If you’re new here then my introductory post to the #300in30days challenge will explain more as will this glimpse at the statistics I racked up during the challenge.]
Many of the things I learned won’t really be of use to anyone but me ... so I won't share those here. [Although I might save them up for a very solipsistic post of their own some time!].
But many of my ‘lessons learned’ will be useful to you ...
Lesson 1: 300 is a lot.
10 things tidied away / sorted / discarded / deleted from my Inbox a day? Mmmm ... a bit trickier ... would probably take more thought, I'd need to assess each item, double-check it wouldn't 'come in handy' at a later date .. but ... yeah .. I think I could give it a good try.
But leaving 10 blog comments a day is harder still. Maybe not for one single day. But for 30 in a row? That's when you start to meet problems.
Lesson 3: Woe betide you if you take weekends off!
Lesson 4: You have to read a blog post before you can comment on it.
It might just have slipped your mind that in order to leave a a coherent comment on it you actually have to read the post first, so let me remind you ...
Lesson 6: Your blog-reader needs updating from time to time.
How often do you see a new post pop up in your reader and you just scroll past it without even bothering to read it, let alone to click on it to read the full post and then take time to leave a comment afterwards?
During the 30 day challenge I started editing my reader and deleting subscriptions to blogs which no longer grabbed my attention. I need to do this more often. If I'm not going to read the posts why do I need to know they exist? Anything else is just white noise, too much information.
Ironically I learned that while I needed to read MORE blogs [to reach my commenting target and to widen my network] I also needed to weed out ones that no longer suited me.
Lesson 7: Logging into and remembering usernames for several accounts in order to leave comments across the various blogging platforms is one of the dullest activities known to man.
There are either some unfortunate people out there who receive nasty, inappropriate, unpublishable comments and therefore need to preview all comments before approving them for publication. Or else there are a lot of people out there who are concerned that they’re going to receive nasty, inappropriate, unpublishable comments at some point in the future.
Lesson 9: Lots of blogs don’t have any / many comments.
It’s not just mine. Hurrah
It looks to me like there are some bloggers who haven't set out to blog for the community aspect therefore they don’t court comments. Perhaps they're writing more opinion pieces, where they don't want to get into a debate, or else they're more commercial and therefore want to focus on putting content out there ... rather than receive any. Or maybe they're just connecting with readers on other platforms.
I came across some beautiful, well written posts that didn't have a ravenous commenting hoard murmuring away beneath them ... and it helped lighten my concerns about my own content-to-comment ratio!
Lesson 10: If you’re seeking out new blog content then Twitter hash tags are a great way to narrow it down.
Apart from being somewhere you can put content into the world [by tweeting about what your postman just did and what you overheard in the library, just me?] Twitter is also a fantastic place to source information; including where to find new-to-you bloggers.
There's a world of bloggers who are tagging links to their blog using specific searchable hashtags # - meaning when anyone searches for that tag, or clicks on one, their tweet will appear in the list.
Here are some examples of the #s I came across during this challenge ...
The main demographic of bloggers who know all about how best to hashtag their posts is generally young; teens and twenty-somethings. And quite frankly I spent a good proportion of the 300in30days challenge reading their posts, not connecting with their content in any real way, and feeling really old in comparison.
So when I learned there were communities of older [ie. my age] bloggers out there ... it came as a relief ... and it gave me some new places to visit.
But if you don't fancy narrowing down your blog reading by age how about by location?
Lesson 11: Twitter hashtags can also help you find bloggers in your local area.
Want to know what bloggers in your area are doing ? Want to read reviews of places to visit, events, etc in a nearby town? Want to maybe attend local blogger meet-ups with real fleshy people? Then use a # to search for local bloggers.
If a blogger has tagged their tweet with a regional and local # you can find it by searching for that particular # in the search box at the top.
If you get stuck ... try finding something like your local paper / library / gallery / tourist association on Twitter first ... and look to see what phrase they are using to tag their posts.
But, before you disappear head first down the hashtag rabbit hole ... know this ...
Lesson 12: While searching via hashtags will absolutely help narrow down the field a little … it’s certainly no mark of quality!
Just because someone is social-media savvy and knows a hashtag from a handsaw ... it doesn't mean that the post they're linking you to will actually be worth reading!!
After spending 30 days following such links ... and despairing ... you'll know what I mean.
Like so much in life, this ‘research’ was actually just a bi-product, something that really only came along for the ride, while I’d set myself a task to do something else. Carving out dedicated ‘research’ time 5 days a week for four weeks is just not something I would ever have deliberately scheduled in. But ... tempt me with a silly project that I can create a hashtag for and get other people involved in? Well hey hey good looking, count me in!
Perhaps there is already a lesson for me to learn in that fact alone …
[If you’re new here then my introductory post to the #300in30days challenge will explain more as will this glimpse at the statistics I racked up during the challenge.]
Many of the things I learned won’t really be of use to anyone but me ... so I won't share those here. [Although I might save them up for a very solipsistic post of their own some time!].
But many of my ‘lessons learned’ will be useful to you ...
- if you're nosey. Are you? Yeah, me too. Read on for more peeks inside Blogland.
- if you are planning to take part in the 300 in 30 Days challenge:- I know it’s a big task but … it's still worth attempting as there’s no way you can avoid learning something from the experience,[even if that ‘something’ is: ‘I can’t do it for 30 days’ or 'I can't make it to 300'!]. And many of those lessons will come in useful for your own blogging.
- OR if you’re a blogger who - over the years - has become comfortable in their niche, with their regular network, and has started to wonder what else is out there?:- After you've completed the challenge you'll know what's out there [for good or bad!].
- OR if you’re someone who enjoys reading blogs and would like ideas on how to find new places to visit.
So ... here are the 30 lessons I learned while leaving 300 blog comments in 30 days ....
Part One: The 'Practical / Technical' Lessons
In fact if you're honest with yourself it's approximately 200 more than you expected it to be.
When I broke it down [as did many people who supported me over the course of the challenge did - to boost my morale!] 300 comments over 30 days sounded doable because that’s just 10 a day … just 10. 10's a relatively manageable number isn't it? Isn't it? And yet …
Lesson 2: 'Just 10 a day' is relative.
10 comments a day about The British Weather? Easy. Just show me the stranger I need to make awkward non-personal conversation with and I'll rack up that 10 without breaking a sweat.
When I broke it down [as did many people who supported me over the course of the challenge did - to boost my morale!] 300 comments over 30 days sounded doable because that’s just 10 a day … just 10. 10's a relatively manageable number isn't it? Isn't it? And yet …
Lesson 2: 'Just 10 a day' is relative.
10 comments a day about The British Weather? Easy. Just show me the stranger I need to make awkward non-personal conversation with and I'll rack up that 10 without breaking a sweat.
10 things tidied away / sorted / discarded / deleted from my Inbox a day? Mmmm ... a bit trickier ... would probably take more thought, I'd need to assess each item, double-check it wouldn't 'come in handy' at a later date .. but ... yeah .. I think I could give it a good try.
But leaving 10 blog comments a day is harder still. Maybe not for one single day. But for 30 in a row? That's when you start to meet problems.
Lesson 3: Woe betide you if you take weekends off!
If, like me, you give yourself a break from leaving blog comments on a weekend [until the last weekend when you're frantically trying - and failing - to reach the 300 goal!] ... just remember this ... if you don't leave the requisite 10 comments on Saturday and Sunday ... come Monday you'll have to leave 30 if you're going to stay on track!
Lesson 4: You have to read a blog post before you can comment on it.
It might just have slipped your mind that in order to leave a a coherent comment on it you actually have to read the post first, so let me remind you ...
You have to read the post first! Why didn't anyone warn me how much extra time that would add to the idea of 'just 10 a day'?
Consider yourself warned ... but don't be put off. Reading the posts really is where the magic happens ... that's where you'll discover if the blogger you've found is someone you'll want to come back and read more from in the future.
Lesson 5: You might not have enough blogs readily on hand to meet the 10 a day goal.
Wherever it is you store the list of blogs you read [I use Feedly] it's going to have to be populated with enough new content each day ... at least 10 posts ... for you to be able to leave 10 comments.
Failing that you'll have to dip into the archives and read older posts OR find new blogs.
I learned that I had relatively little new content coming in to Feedly each day. Or at least ... not content that I felt I could comment on. Which led me to my next lesson ...
Failing that you'll have to dip into the archives and read older posts OR find new blogs.
I learned that I had relatively little new content coming in to Feedly each day. Or at least ... not content that I felt I could comment on. Which led me to my next lesson ...
Lesson 6: Your blog-reader needs updating from time to time.
How often do you see a new post pop up in your reader and you just scroll past it without even bothering to read it, let alone to click on it to read the full post and then take time to leave a comment afterwards?
During the 30 day challenge I started editing my reader and deleting subscriptions to blogs which no longer grabbed my attention. I need to do this more often. If I'm not going to read the posts why do I need to know they exist? Anything else is just white noise, too much information.
Ironically I learned that while I needed to read MORE blogs [to reach my commenting target and to widen my network] I also needed to weed out ones that no longer suited me.
Lesson 7: Logging into and remembering usernames for several accounts in order to leave comments across the various blogging platforms is one of the dullest activities known to man.
And - after we all threw in our opinions on the 3 main categories of commenting difficulties here - we all know that that single fact contributes vastly to the reduction in commenting / community many of us have felt over recent years.
So ... we know this. But what can we do about it? To paraphrase Tolkien we need one log-in ... to rule them all.
Lesson 8: 'Approval' settings on comments are surprisingly widespread.
Which came as a surprise to me. I've never had to resort to using the pre-approval setting so I was quite intrigued as to why so many people have.
So ... we know this. But what can we do about it? To paraphrase Tolkien we need one log-in ... to rule them all.
Lesson 8: 'Approval' settings on comments are surprisingly widespread.
Which came as a surprise to me. I've never had to resort to using the pre-approval setting so I was quite intrigued as to why so many people have.
There are either some unfortunate people out there who receive nasty, inappropriate, unpublishable comments and therefore need to preview all comments before approving them for publication. Or else there are a lot of people out there who are concerned that they’re going to receive nasty, inappropriate, unpublishable comments at some point in the future.
Lesson 9: Lots of blogs don’t have any / many comments.
It’s not just mine. Hurrah
It looks to me like there are some bloggers who haven't set out to blog for the community aspect therefore they don’t court comments. Perhaps they're writing more opinion pieces, where they don't want to get into a debate, or else they're more commercial and therefore want to focus on putting content out there ... rather than receive any. Or maybe they're just connecting with readers on other platforms.
I came across some beautiful, well written posts that didn't have a ravenous commenting hoard murmuring away beneath them ... and it helped lighten my concerns about my own content-to-comment ratio!
Lesson 10: If you’re seeking out new blog content then Twitter hash tags are a great way to narrow it down.
Apart from being somewhere you can put content into the world [by tweeting about what your postman just did and what you overheard in the library, just me?] Twitter is also a fantastic place to source information; including where to find new-to-you bloggers.
There's a world of bloggers who are tagging links to their blog using specific searchable hashtags # - meaning when anyone searches for that tag, or clicks on one, their tweet will appear in the list.
Here are some examples of the #s I came across during this challenge ...
- #Lboggers = lifestyle
- #Fbloggers = food
- #Studentbloggers = students
- #Bbloggers = beauty
- 30plusbloggers = bloggers over 30
- 40plusbloggers = bloggers over 40
- Edited to add ... Deb ... I found 50plusbloggers too! The possibilities are endless ... I'm sure there are more!
The main demographic of bloggers who know all about how best to hashtag their posts is generally young; teens and twenty-somethings. And quite frankly I spent a good proportion of the 300in30days challenge reading their posts, not connecting with their content in any real way, and feeling really old in comparison.
So when I learned there were communities of older [ie. my age] bloggers out there ... it came as a relief ... and it gave me some new places to visit.
But if you don't fancy narrowing down your blog reading by age how about by location?
Lesson 11: Twitter hashtags can also help you find bloggers in your local area.
Want to know what bloggers in your area are doing ? Want to read reviews of places to visit, events, etc in a nearby town? Want to maybe attend local blogger meet-ups with real fleshy people? Then use a # to search for local bloggers.
If a blogger has tagged their tweet with a regional and local # you can find it by searching for that particular # in the search box at the top.
- For example: I've discovered that bloggers from North East England tag their tweets with #NEbloggers [so I've been using it to, when writing about local events]:
- Also if I search for the same hashtag in the search box I get a list of tweets by people who've used the tag and who, in all likelihood have blogged about places I have some chance of visiting.
- [I know there's a place for mooning over exotic travel blogs ... but if I'm looking for a nice place to spend a Saturday afternoon then somewhere 40 miles up the A19 is far more realistic].
If you get stuck ... try finding something like your local paper / library / gallery / tourist association on Twitter first ... and look to see what phrase they are using to tag their posts.
But, before you disappear head first down the hashtag rabbit hole ... know this ...
Lesson 12: While searching via hashtags will absolutely help narrow down the field a little … it’s certainly no mark of quality!
Just because someone is social-media savvy and knows a hashtag from a handsaw ... it doesn't mean that the post they're linking you to will actually be worth reading!!
After spending 30 days following such links ... and despairing ... you'll know what I mean.
Lesson 13: Before writing anyone off as an good-for-nothing-ignorant-non-replier …just check back to see if they have replied.
I, perhaps naively, thought that more people would visit my blog after I'd visited theirs. But, of course, they don't. [Well, just a few did].
And it shouldn't be surprising ... we're all trying to build up our own space as the place to be ... so, naturally, if we can reply in our own comments section, we do.
I found myself re-visiting a few blogs to see if they'd responded to my comment and many had - beneath my original comment.
I know it takes time, and memory, to go back for a re-visit ... but if you're seeking to nurture new online connections ... it's the only way.
And fortunately ... unlike the difficulties we all have logging in ... some of the platforms make it easier for us to read replies to our comments ...
Lesson 14: It's easy to find replies if you commented using the Disqus app.
If you logged into the Disqus app with your Google account then replies will be sent to your gmail. How simple's that?
Alternatively, if you see the Disqus panel on any other blog you’re commenting on, and you're still logged into Disqus, just click your profile pic in the comment box and your commenting history, plus any replies you've received will show up!
Lesson 15: There's something similar in Wordpress too.
If you're logged into your Wordpress account you’ll see a speech bubble box in the top right of your own blog or of any Wordpress blog you visit. [Or at least that's what I see when using a Windows laptop].
Simply click that speech bubble box and all your latest notifications will be there [just like on Facebook].
If only there was something like this available on Blogger ... which so many of us use!!! If you know of something similar to this on Blogger that I've missed ... or any kind of method which notifies you of replies that I haven't mentioned .... do do do let us all know in a comment today! Thanks!!
I, perhaps naively, thought that more people would visit my blog after I'd visited theirs. But, of course, they don't. [Well, just a few did].
And it shouldn't be surprising ... we're all trying to build up our own space as the place to be ... so, naturally, if we can reply in our own comments section, we do.
I found myself re-visiting a few blogs to see if they'd responded to my comment and many had - beneath my original comment.
I know it takes time, and memory, to go back for a re-visit ... but if you're seeking to nurture new online connections ... it's the only way.
And fortunately ... unlike the difficulties we all have logging in ... some of the platforms make it easier for us to read replies to our comments ...
Lesson 14: It's easy to find replies if you commented using the Disqus app.
If you logged into the Disqus app with your Google account then replies will be sent to your gmail. How simple's that?
Alternatively, if you see the Disqus panel on any other blog you’re commenting on, and you're still logged into Disqus, just click your profile pic in the comment box and your commenting history, plus any replies you've received will show up!
Lesson 15: There's something similar in Wordpress too.
If you're logged into your Wordpress account you’ll see a speech bubble box in the top right of your own blog or of any Wordpress blog you visit. [Or at least that's what I see when using a Windows laptop].
Simply click that speech bubble box and all your latest notifications will be there [just like on Facebook].
If only there was something like this available on Blogger ... which so many of us use!!! If you know of something similar to this on Blogger that I've missed ... or any kind of method which notifies you of replies that I haven't mentioned .... do do do let us all know in a comment today! Thanks!!
Part Two: The 'Style / Content' Lessons
Lesson 16: There's an epidemic of fuzzy photos on blogs.
I'm not being judgemental [or, come to think of it ... maybe I am] but in my efforts to find lots of new blogs to comment on I also observed that people were using quite a few fuzzy, blurry and out of focus shots.
I'm not talking here about arty farty 'bokeh' techniques, or playing with Depth of Field ... just generally blurry. Maybe they're phone uploads? After all ... as I've learned from my own experience, what looks crystal clear on a 3" screen leaves something to be desired when stretched across a 14" one.
Just an observation ...
Lesson 17: I prefer reading posts that have their layout broken up in some way.
I'm not being judgemental [or, come to think of it ... maybe I am] but in my efforts to find lots of new blogs to comment on I also observed that people were using quite a few fuzzy, blurry and out of focus shots.
I'm not talking here about arty farty 'bokeh' techniques, or playing with Depth of Field ... just generally blurry. Maybe they're phone uploads? After all ... as I've learned from my own experience, what looks crystal clear on a 3" screen leaves something to be desired when stretched across a 14" one.
Just an observation ...
Lesson 17: I prefer reading posts that have their layout broken up in some way.
I’m a skimmer. No two ways about it.
And if there's a page of dense text resembling the North face of the Eiger ... then I'm already feeling exhausted before I reach Base Camp; so I'm not really inclined to then strap on my crampons to scale it.
I'd much rather spend time on the grassy slopes of a post broken up with photos, line breaks and bullet points … so it's definitely something I try to do on my own blog.
And if there's a page of dense text resembling the North face of the Eiger ... then I'm already feeling exhausted before I reach Base Camp; so I'm not really inclined to then strap on my crampons to scale it.
I'd much rather spend time on the grassy slopes of a post broken up with photos, line breaks and bullet points … so it's definitely something I try to do on my own blog.
- Look ... I'm bullet pointing right now.
- And now.
But this next lesson in style is a tough, tough one for me to have learned ...
Lesson 18: I struggle not to skim through long posts …
Yet I know I write them.
Hello. Guilty as charged.
This post is approximately 4000 words. Halfway towards a dissertation.
I haven't quite reconciled this lesson with my own blogging practice yet. It's a work in progress ... and, yes, I'm a hypocrite!
Yet I know I write them.
Hello. Guilty as charged.
This post is approximately 4000 words. Halfway towards a dissertation.
I haven't quite reconciled this lesson with my own blogging practice yet. It's a work in progress ... and, yes, I'm a hypocrite!
Lesson 19: There are so many sponsored posts out there!
So many.
Of course I knew that bloggers were the new ... well, everything apparently, but until I started reading more widely I had no idea sponsored posting was this widespread.
Again, another tricky one for me to reconcile ... making money through my writing is one of my ultimate life goals, but ... at the risk of burning any bridges ... I'm not sure I could bare to be told by a PR what to write about.
[A stubbornness which will come as no surprise to my parents.]
Lesson 20: Beauty posts don’t do it for me
Just like the sponsored post prevalence, beauty posts are everywhere [in fact, the two are often linked with beauty bloggers demonstrating sponsored products].
Beauty bloggers are also seemingly good at the whole self-promotion / Twitter hash-tagging thing so, chances are, in your search to find new bloggers, you'll stumble across many of them. [Do be careful where you stumble ... we don't want a bullet shaped mascara wand doing you an injury ...]
Actually, I've had to change the title of this particular lesson as a few weeks ago, scribbled in my notebook, it read 'I will never ever share my beauty routine on my blog'. But that was before I landed on a way I could maybe do this* ... and kind of make someone smile and still keep my pride.
*Here's where I should say 'Coming Soon' or watch this space'. But, realistically it's more a case of 'I've added it to the ever lengthening [like so many beauty bloggers' eyelashes] topics to blog about list'. See also: outfit posts. [Which I definitely want to do more of ... sometime or other!!]
What can I say? I love clothes. I like looking at outfit posts. Especially the authentic ones where people have actually put clothes together from their own wardrobes or from vintage/thrift shops. Again, sponsored posts don't grab me here [or anywhere!].
Part Three: The 'Personal / Personality' Lessons
I'll admit that I found it daunting to begin with.
Sometimes blog visiting can be like a chain, where you have ready made links, where you can hop between people you see commenting on the blogs of other people you know.
But when you turn up at the gates of a blog brand new to you - not one you've found through a blogger-in-common - not only do you not know anyone - you don't even know anyone who knows anyone you know!
It's a whole new world ... and it's vast ... and a little baffling.
Lesson 23: It can transport you back to your school days [Remember those? The happiest days of your life ... apparently ...]
When you find yourself in someone else’s comments section where people are already mid-conversation, and they all seem to know one another, it can feel a little like you’re walking up to an existing friendship group and joining in the conversation without being asked.
It’s a bit like school and it could be triggering of you’ve ever had unpleasant experiences related to friendship groups at school. And which of us hasn’t experienced that particular brand of soul-crumpling? So, be careful out there, make sure you've got your shield to hand.
Lesson 24: The beauty of the internet means you can elbow your way in boldly, by typing, and they'll never hear your quavering voice, they'll never see your nervous unstill fingers, your anxious furrowed brow, your bottom lip pinched between your teeth as you psyche yourself up to chat!
OK, so you don't know the blogger you find yourself wanting to chat with . But, if you like what they've got to say, there's only one way to let them know. Throw caution to the wind and say something.
OK, so you don't know the blogger you find yourself wanting to chat with . But, if you like what they've got to say, there's only one way to let them know. Throw caution to the wind and say something.
Lesson 25: Don't feel silly about 'butting in'.
[BTW: If you're not planning to say something nice, if you are just there to mutter ‘Your hair/child/cat is gross’ … then maybe put your fingers away. And sit on them until you calm down.] ;-)
Lesson 26: I can’t take bloggers seriously who take themselves too seriously.
And my-oh-my, do some people take their platform as a 'Blogger' verrrrrrryyyyy seriously.
Some speak as if they're imparting some Extremely Vital Knowledge. Or as if they're talking to children. Or writing a school essay.
I like to useful, I like to offer you my company while you're here, I know for sure that some of the things I share about myself help some of you feel you're not alone, and I like to be thorough and thoughtful and non-judgemental ... but equally ...
... I like to talk to you like I would if you were in the room with me. From one [almost-normal] person to another.
Not from a self-important position of authority. Or a pedestal [because the more I'm kept away from anything I can fall off, the better].
FYI: Whenever I ask James what he thought of a particular blog post of mine he almost always says "It sounds like you." And, as the man's spent the last 20+ years listening to me chatter away ... he should know.
Now .. at the risk of taking myself too seriously ...
Lesson 27: Lots of bloggers apologise ... a lot.
I like you. I do. And I'd never deliberately set out to offend you. And yet ... you won't find me apologising very much here.
[Unless I'm being silly .... like apologising for mentioning for the 900th time that I went to see Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet. Because that would be silly. Because I'm not sorry. Come visit me on my death bed and I'll find a way to rattle that tale out again.]
In my 300-seeking travels I saw a lot of [female] bloggers making apologies for all kinds of things; such as:
- Ask yourself what it is you plan to say in your comment.
- Is is adding to their current debate, contributing something welcome?
- Will it make the blogger glad you spoke up?
[BTW: If you're not planning to say something nice, if you are just there to mutter ‘Your hair/child/cat is gross’ … then maybe put your fingers away. And sit on them until you calm down.] ;-)
Lesson 26: I can’t take bloggers seriously who take themselves too seriously.
And my-oh-my, do some people take their platform as a 'Blogger' verrrrrrryyyyy seriously.
Some speak as if they're imparting some Extremely Vital Knowledge. Or as if they're talking to children. Or writing a school essay.
I like to useful, I like to offer you my company while you're here, I know for sure that some of the things I share about myself help some of you feel you're not alone, and I like to be thorough and thoughtful and non-judgemental ... but equally ...
... I like to talk to you like I would if you were in the room with me. From one [almost-normal] person to another.
Not from a self-important position of authority. Or a pedestal [because the more I'm kept away from anything I can fall off, the better].
FYI: Whenever I ask James what he thought of a particular blog post of mine he almost always says "It sounds like you." And, as the man's spent the last 20+ years listening to me chatter away ... he should know.
Now .. at the risk of taking myself too seriously ...
Lesson 27: Lots of bloggers apologise ... a lot.
I like you. I do. And I'd never deliberately set out to offend you. And yet ... you won't find me apologising very much here.
[Unless I'm being silly .... like apologising for mentioning for the 900th time that I went to see Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet. Because that would be silly. Because I'm not sorry. Come visit me on my death bed and I'll find a way to rattle that tale out again.]
In my 300-seeking travels I saw a lot of [female] bloggers making apologies for all kinds of things; such as:
- not blogging on the particular days of the week she'd said she was going to;
- not being able to maintain her blogging schedule while starting univeristy/ a new job etc;
- and blogging about topics the reader might be put off by [ranging from depression to cold sores.]
And I understand. Truly. I empathise. I know it's scary to think you're trying to build a blogging presence, and you've read 100 'How To's about setting and sticking to a schedule or keeping things professional or shiny or glamorous. And you feel you need to follow those 'rules'.
And I know many women like to please, like to be liked, and don't want to be controversial, or disappointing, or seen in any way as 'less than'.
But the apologising needs to stop.
The sooner the better.
Especially if you want to build a following in your blogging career; because no one feels comfortable following someone who's not comfortable leading.
Especially if you want to build a following in your blogging career; because no one feels comfortable following someone who's not comfortable leading.
You don't need to be hard, mechanical, masculine, cold or overly professional to lead people. But you do need to stop apologising for things that [a] you can't help and [b] honestly ... no one else cares about and probably wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't mentioned it.
Be yourself and don't apologise for it.
If you plan to say sorry each and every time you dare to be genuine, flawed or authentic ... you'll be a husk of a blogger - and human being - in no time.
If you plan to say sorry each and every time you dare to be genuine, flawed or authentic ... you'll be a husk of a blogger - and human being - in no time.
Lesson 28: There are a lot of bloggers discussing mental health out there.
Before I go on let me state for the record that I have experienced anxiety and clinical depression in the past and so ... I'm not just talking out of my ... the top of my head here.
And the fact that I know it intimately is probably why the subject kept catching my attention as I searched around for something to comment on during my 30 days. And yet I certainly didn't set out to deliberately find bloggers who were discussing mental health issues.
Yet I found them.
In spades.
And, the fact that mine was a purely ad hoc, wherever-the-wind-takes-me search for new bloggers [I didn't do a Twitter search for #DepressedBloggers] makes me conclude that:
And the fact that I know it intimately is probably why the subject kept catching my attention as I searched around for something to comment on during my 30 days. And yet I certainly didn't set out to deliberately find bloggers who were discussing mental health issues.
Yet I found them.
In spades.
And, the fact that mine was a purely ad hoc, wherever-the-wind-takes-me search for new bloggers [I didn't do a Twitter search for #DepressedBloggers] makes me conclude that:
- the issue is both widespread in society
- AND it's being discussed widely in Blogworld.
Now, initially, I took this to be a sign of greater openness and awareness. When I had my issues in the 1990s I was thoroughly, deeply and irredeemably ashamed at how I struggled with the things that ‘everyone’ else could manage on a daily basis. And so I did everything in my power to keep my illness and treatment as secret as possible.
So when, in my 30 days, I saw so many bloggers discussing their mental health problems on their blogs I thought "Wow. How wonderful that they feel they can be open about it. Times have changed. That's amazing." And yet ...
... after I'd read the individual posts, I began to see a pattern emerging. The bloggers - while openly admitting their issues online - often mentioned:
Dismantling the stigma of mental health issues brick by brick. Blogger by blogger.
Now, on a lighter note ...
... before you connect with a blogger who feels 'just right' to you. [I seem to have mashed-up The Frog Prince with Goldilocks there ... but you take the point ...]
If you're planning to embark on a voyage of blog-discovery of your own then you should know that:
[Most of which will have been sponsored posts telling you about how to style your lily-pad or the 5 best water-proof mascaras.]
As I mentioned in my earlier post [all about the statistics from my challenge] – my attrition rate was fascinating. I visited 100 new-to-me blogs ... added just a dozen or so added to my blog-reader ... had about the same amount reply to my comments ... had a handful visit my blog ... and have struck up something rapport with a couple of new faces and continue to connect with a few using other social media.
But the thing is ... there's so much out there that you're inevitably going to have to experience a lot of "What are you talking about?" before you land on a "Oh, yes, I thought it was just me ...".
And when you do land on a new blogger who you simply 'get' ... it's a treat. [And a relief ... especially if you've been searching for 30 days!]
It sounds like a lot of hassle doesn't it? And it is. You're not wrong.
Of course ... you don't need to launch full tilt into a 30 day challenge to find quality content, maybe you can challenge yourself to find one new blog a month.
But why bother? Why seek out new-to-you content at all? Well ...
... if, like me, you enjoy reading blogs [Which Oh.My.Goodness. you must do if you've made it to the end of this post!!] then ...
So when, in my 30 days, I saw so many bloggers discussing their mental health problems on their blogs I thought "Wow. How wonderful that they feel they can be open about it. Times have changed. That's amazing." And yet ...
... after I'd read the individual posts, I began to see a pattern emerging. The bloggers - while openly admitting their issues online - often mentioned:
- how they struggled to tell people in their personal lives, offline;
- how they felt ashamed of their situation
- how other people didn't understand
- Maybe people are talking about it more ... but the stigma remains.
- And maybe the shame is part of the illness. Maybe it's not just a cultural thing.
- Maybe it's a personal feeling that isn't related to how many people are currently talking about it.
- Maybe it's something depressed people will always experience ... although it's something we can absolutely emerge from with gentle handling over time. With kindness. To ourselves first and foremost.
Dismantling the stigma of mental health issues brick by brick. Blogger by blogger.
Now, on a lighter note ...
Lesson 29: Lots of young female bloggers talk about gin.
Gin's everywhere. It's the trendy red-lipstick-wearing-vintage-loving female equivalent of the hipster beard.
I didn't realise it was such a 'thing' now. And I feel old. Because I prefer a nice chilled Sauvignon Blanc and soda.
Anyone for a 'bloggers ruin' and tonic?
And finally ... after visiting a total of 137 blogs, 100 of which were entirely new-to-me, during a 30 day period I can confidently tell you this ...
Lesson 30: You have to kiss a lot of frogs... I didn't realise it was such a 'thing' now. And I feel old. Because I prefer a nice chilled Sauvignon Blanc and soda.
Anyone for a 'bloggers ruin' and tonic?
And finally ... after visiting a total of 137 blogs, 100 of which were entirely new-to-me, during a 30 day period I can confidently tell you this ...
... before you connect with a blogger who feels 'just right' to you. [I seem to have mashed-up The Frog Prince with Goldilocks there ... but you take the point ...]
If you're planning to embark on a voyage of blog-discovery of your own then you should know that:
- It probably won't happen overnight.
- It might not even happen after 20 days of searching.
- But it will happen ... you will find someone whose online home you feel comfortable hanging around in and where you want to drop by occasionally.
- It's just that ... it might literally be someone. One single new blogger.
[Most of which will have been sponsored posts telling you about how to style your lily-pad or the 5 best water-proof mascaras.]
As I mentioned in my earlier post [all about the statistics from my challenge] – my attrition rate was fascinating. I visited 100 new-to-me blogs ... added just a dozen or so added to my blog-reader ... had about the same amount reply to my comments ... had a handful visit my blog ... and have struck up something rapport with a couple of new faces and continue to connect with a few using other social media.
But the thing is ... there's so much out there that you're inevitably going to have to experience a lot of "What are you talking about?" before you land on a "Oh, yes, I thought it was just me ...".
And when you do land on a new blogger who you simply 'get' ... it's a treat. [And a relief ... especially if you've been searching for 30 days!]
-------------------------------------------------
Of course ... you don't need to launch full tilt into a 30 day challenge to find quality content, maybe you can challenge yourself to find one new blog a month.
But why bother? Why seek out new-to-you content at all? Well ...
... if, like me, you enjoy reading blogs [Which Oh.My.Goodness. you must do if you've made it to the end of this post!!] then ...
- You're going to want / need to refresh your reading matter from time to time.
- You're going to need to find bloggers who reflect your changing interests and priorities as you move through life;
- You're going to need to find 'new blood' to replace those bloggers that stop blogging;
- If you're a blogger you're going to need to refill your well of inspiration ... you need to see what and who else is out that and what they're doing these days. [Hint: it's mainly gin.]
And ... eventually ... it'll be worth the effort.
- It was worth the effort for me ... because of the lessons I unexpectedly learned along the way [I learned more lessons than I found new favourite bloggers!]
- It was worth if for me ... for the shift in perspective it offered me including the realisation that my blog's not perfect ... but it's pretty decent compared to some.
- It was worth if for me ... because, while I could have spent my time reading up on pre-packaged tips on blog design, or content ideas, or marketing strategies ... my 300 in 30 Days challenge actually led me to find out for myself about what I currently like/don't like
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If you've found anything in this post useful, fun, interesting, diverting, intriguing ... would you consider sharing it with someone? Especially other bloggers or potential bloggers? But, really, anyone at all. Even your cat.
New sets of eyes landing on their words is the best gift you can give a blogger.
Apart from a comment that is.
Oh and ... a book deal.
Obviously.
Julie.
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