It's not you it's me. Well, OK, it might be a *bit* you. Are you one of these kinds of blog-commenter?

Speaking as someone who had a full Catholic school experience, and who also once accidentally stood on the snail she was keeping as a pet, I didn't think I had the capacity to feel any more guilt in my lifetime.

But that was all before I brought up the subject of blog commenting ...

When I set out on my challenge to leave 300 blog comments in 30 days it was for two key reasons that really had little to do with you ... and everything to do with me.

Reason 1.
I was aware that, when I set up this blog on November 8th 2008, I brought over with me people I already knew from the UKScrappers forum and from the design team blogs I was part of at the time.

My recent thinking has been that, as I no longer frequently share scrapbooking or craft projects here, [a decision which genuinely caused me some anxiety ... but more of this some other time, or never!] then perhaps that explained why I don't really generate a lot of commenting here.

And ...

Reason 2.
With my blog writing and reading focus slightly shifting I wanted to find some new content to reflect my preferences and I knew that the quickest - and perhaps only - way to do that would be to simply launch myself into a concerted expedition of discovery and connection by commenting.

What this was never intended to be was a criticism of anyone who reads my blog but who doesn't comment. 

As the comments on my introductory post began to roll in I began to feel like I'd unwittingly started a Mexican wave of guilt amongst lapsed and non-commenters!

It's not you ... it's me ... 

Honestly, if I'd wanted to make this about why people don't leave comments for me, I'd have made it more obvious as I prefer to have everything out in the open here [and not just here ... ask James!]. I really don't go in for passive-aggression. 

In fact I avoid passive-aggression like I avoid dogs and people I once went to school with. 

So I really wasn't trying to subtly elicit guilty feelings, or guilty comments from anyone. However ...

... the fact that so many of you spoke up to let me know you were feeling bad really has been a revelation. When something of an impromptu census took place in the comments section of my initial '300 in 30 days' post I was really touched by how many of you spoke up explaining the reasons you don't comment.

While reading - and replying - to all of them [I'm tempted to count those in my 300 comments!] I detected a few patterns in the responses, so I thought I'd share them here to shine a light on the whole etiquette of commenting.

Perhaps you'll recognise yourself amongst the or perhaps you'll be able to better understand your own blog readers from some of the examples. So here we go, let's take a look at the three distinct categories of commenter who piped up on my earlier post ...

[a] The quiet ones, the shy ones, the ones battling confidence issues:

This one blind-sided me.

Some of you spoke up to reveal that you didn't leave comments [not just here, but on other blogs to] because you were:

• "shy", 
• "a bit secretive" 
• or you were concerned about having to "put myself out there"or hoping to avoid rejection "in case they don't care/reciprocate" or that "no one is interested in what I have to say". 

 Never had it crossed my mind that anyone would feel too awkward or vulnerable to leave me a comment. And yet I shouldn't have been surprised.

I always strive to be inclusive here, to be friendly, welcoming ... and I'm not worried about sharing my imperfections or vulnerabilities [dog phobic, introvert, frequent weeper!], or my past reliance on plastic zebras.

So it makes perfect sense for my blog to attract quiet nervy types!! And, while I wasn't completely clear on that before, I am now.

Thank you for making me aware and for thinking enough of me that you wanted to speak up and set the record straight! And, from now on, feel free to read in peace and never worry about commenting here again.

And now that I know, I know. I know you're here, I know I'm not talking to myself, I know you're having a decent enough time when you get here. And now you know that I know.

We're sorted. As you were. Carry on as before. OK?

Not you? Well maybe you'll recognise yourself in the next category of commenter ...

[b] The blog-weary ones, the busy ones, the lax and the lurkers. 

You are the ones I completely expected;  after all, I count myself one of you. You are the ones who explained your infrequent commenting as:

• part of a wider feeling of being "very lax with blogging lately";
• of recognising this and of wanting to "make more of an effort";
• of reminding yourself that "there is a person at the other end of a blog";
• of enjoying a particular blog but of just not making the transition from 'reader' to 'commenter';
• of using your spare time anywhere but on a computer. [One of the main reasons I try to avoid spending my evenings and weekends online ... which is making my 300 in 30 days challenge a bit of a struggle!!].

Like all of you I've just got a bit complacent lately. I've been taking in the content but not digesting and pausing long enough to reflect and comment. It's easily done. There's a lot of content out there, but I think I've recently reached the point where I want quality over quantity. But first I think I need to work out what 'quality' means to me ... what I'm going to find useful, what I'm going to be happy using my spare time reading. And that's all part of my experiment! 

I'm not there yet, and I won't swear that I'll be an entirely reformed character once my 30 days are over ... but I'm already learning about and honing my priorities. 

Thank you to those of you who found the time to un-lurk, de-lurk, to poke your head up and say hello on my previous post. Your efforts were appreciated!

Still don't recognise yourself? Then maybe you fit into the third catagory of lapsed commenters: 

[c]The ones battling with technology, with platforms, with crocodiles, with accounts, with devices. 

[OK maybe not with crocodiles. I put that one in there to see if you were paying attention. But if you do battle crocodiles in order to leave comments, then Bravo you! You're the best. But perhaps the also the most misguided.]

Thank you to those of you who wrangled your devices long enough to leave a comment and let me know I'm not talking to myself over here. 

You were the ones who talked of being willing to comment more if only ...

• it wasn't "so time consuming to add a comment";
• if only "the process was more streamlined"
• or your iPhone and iPad cooperated with blog-commenting technology;
•  or if you didn't have to log in and out of various accounts ... or set up an acount in the first place. 

I hear you. I am you. 

As someone so used the the speed and general efficiency of Facebook, I find it so frustrating logging in and out of Blogger, or Disqus, or having to authorise the Twitter app to let me comment! Or any of the other myriad ways the different platforms demand you use in order to leave a simple hello.

And if I found it frustrating while I was being a lax lurker [wasn't he in Superman?] and only commenting occasionally ... then imagine how much I'm enjoying it now that I'm trying to leave 300 of the darlings!! So it doesn't surprise me that I'm waaaay behind schedule and may not reach the 300 target.

If it's any use to anyone I'm finding using Disqus a slightly easier method ... it even updates you when the blogger replies to your comments which is useful for forging a connection. It's not ideal, it updates me via the email address I use to log into Blogger ... and that's not my regular email, because Google made me change it. [Another hoop to jump through!] plus it leads people back to a profile that I really have no interest in personalising ... but it is speedy [a bit like Facebook] and while I'm trying to leave so many comments per day, I feel the need for speed. 

But I don't have an answer to this one; the technology is tying us all in knots when all we want to do is connect. Maybe it'll be a case of VHS vs Betamax and somewhere down the line all the different platforms will be streamlined. Who knows.


So, OK, it is me ... but maybe it's also bit you too ...

It wasn't meant to be about you.

My #300in30Days challenge was just about me, about what I could do do maintain and widen my blogging circle. Or at least that's what I intended when I started all this.

Yet now you've all been commenting, giving me feedback, highlighting how we're all having the same issues ... maybe it is me and you ... and all the other people writing and reading blogs right now. 

As ever - as blogging so often shows me - I'm learning that I'm not alone:

• Not alone in wishing for more comments. 
• Not alone in being guilty of reading and running without leaving comments! 
• Not alone in almost being tipped over the edge by having to type in yet another password before being able to leave a comment!!
• And I'm not even alone in making an extra effort to comment as several of you are joining-in generally in the spirit of increased connections while others are actually planning to reach 300 too! 

I'm going to see this experiment through, even if I don't reach the target, because - as your comments and conversations already prove - there's more to this than a number.

And so [to paraphrase Oliver!] if you've logged into a long lost account, fought an iPhone, fought your shyness, caught a kangaroo, or gone to Timbuctu ... and back again in order to tell me your side of the commenting story then consider it a job well done!

Messages received, understood and appreciated!

How about we just keep going now?

Some of us will write, others will read. Some will comment, others not. Some will enjoy with their feet up and a warm mug in their hand, others might be inspired to start a blog of their own.

But hopefully we'll all feel accompanied.

See you again. Here. Or at your place. [I've got 154 comments to leave in the next 11 days so I'm not done blog seeking yet!].

Julie.

p.s: I'm not going to ask you leave a comment today or suggest we chat about anything in particular there ... because, judging by your responses last time ... you're going to go your own way and reveal all kinds of things I couldn't have anticipated. So ... I'll leave you to it ...

Photographs © Julie Kirk 2015. [It's great having a weird and wonderful back-catalogue of photos to turn to when I need something to illustrate an idea!]