Hi you.
Did you recently pack-off an 18 year old to a university campus that you've only ever seen once on an open day then again when you were decanting duvets and instant noodles from the back of your car before hugging them goodbye?
Did you recently pack-off an 18 year old to a university campus that you've only ever seen once on an open day then again when you were decanting duvets and instant noodles from the back of your car before hugging them goodbye?
Or are you planning to head off to university in 12 months' time, and you’d like a little heads-up on the sights and sounds you can expect to find?
Or maybe you're just curious to immerse yourself in the 'exotic' vista of a campus at this peak time of the year?
Between my own experience as an undergraduate, and my current role, as an assistant to students with disabilities, I’ve witnessed 13 fresh, shiny and new, October terms.
So let me offer you a sense of the bustle and hubbub of campus life at this time of year, a sense that you won't find in the prospectus ...
Sign No.1: There are people there.
Lots of them. They're everywhere. An ocean.
A swell of them in the foyers gets funneled frothily down and along into corridors. They build, break, and flow outside, along the pavements, between buildings. They get swept across public spaces, and arrive lapping at the door of another building.
And the queue for refreshments? It makes the herds of buffalo or zebra flocking to a watering hole in the African grasslands look like a poorly attended leaving party.
These crowds are most likely made up of the First Years; those who, like those zebras, are clinging strongest to the idea of safety in numbers.
Yet the mass of the crowd is punctuated by two particular breeds of Lone Wanderer:
- the Staff, Second Years, Third Years - old hands - forging ahead alone.
- And the Brand-New-and-Lost ... lagging behind.
- As I tweeted in October 2010 "That noise in the background is the sound of hundreds of eager students on the 1st week of term. You won't hear it again after next week."
Well, that ... and the fact that the new experience gets old pretty quickly ...
- Overheard on campus October 2012: "I just can't be arsed coming in all the time."
And of course, wherever there are lots of people, there are lots of cars, which are also effected by the inevitable quietening down of the campus come winter ...
That sea of people are focusing on just one thing: getting somewhere. They're missiles of nervous energy seeking out their next destination, working out the layout of the campus, deciphering the room number codes which will reveal to them where they need to be next.
If you're walking anywhere near them you'll need to have your wits about you as any moment now they'll be stopping randomly
without warning
stock still in front of you.
They'll become their own monument, a statue, a street performer.
You may be tempted to throw money. Don't do this if you don't mean it. Remember that these are students, and therefore they’ll gladly take it.
Some will look up scouring their eye-line for clues; others will look down to consult a map or an app.
They'll roll the name of their desired destination around their mouths, like an incantation, in the hope of being divinely pulled in the right direction.
Come unto me the lost and baffled and I will give you directions.
And then … aha! A moment of clarity, a Damascene conversion, a comfortingly familiar building name or room number is located on a sign
You have reached your destination.
Sign No.3: There'll be queues outside lecture theatres.
All this conscientious map-reading, the dedication [born from terror] of being at the right place, at the right time, leads to them arriving in good time for lectures/seminars.
They’re there early. Gathered. Eager. The space has to adapt and expand to stow them all together: new alcoves, doorways, crevices. Their hula-hoops of personal space get bent out of shape.
And then ... the dam breaks, the door opens and the previous lecturer releases their hold on the room and the great displacement of bodies can begin again. One module's worth of bodies being exchanged for another. The seats still warm.
This will tail off.
Not the unnerving sensation of pre-warmed seats. That's an evergreen treat. No, the eagerness. The early arrivals. The promptness.
They won't always be as anxious to please their tutor:
And some will find themselves having to leave early ... but not always managing to ..
Sign No.4: They'll be carrying bags.
Of course there'll be those, like me, who will always carry a bag around campus; well beyond the first month of term: from induction to graduation.
And they'll have the lopsided shoulders to prove it.
[I'm possibly still bitter about carrying the 2000 page breeze-block of a book the Norton Anthology of Poetry around for at least the whole of my first year.]
But it's not only bags they'll have with them ... it's what's inside them too, it's notebooks, and pens, and those rarely-spotted-beyond-winter items: books.
Soon many will have lost any pens they started term with; which is round about when promotional events/stalls offering free pens suddenly become popular.
Or so they'd have you believe.
Those of us sitting behind them, reading over their shoulders, will know that they are in fact on Facebook, sending texts, or playing games.
So yes, if you're on campus in October you'll see plenty of bags on display [you might even spot the one you bought your offspring to take with them, because you thought they would need it.] ... but after that ... well, the bags will either vanish altogether [at the point where just bringing themselves, fully clothed and conscious to a 9am lecture seems optimistic] or else ... the bags will just start shrinking ...
- Overheard on campus October 2011: “I like it when they all drop-out after Christmas; it leaves more space in the car parks”.
Sign No.2: All those people are looking anywhere but at you.
If you're walking anywhere near them you'll need to have your wits about you as any moment now they'll be stopping randomly
without warning
stock still in front of you.
They'll become their own monument, a statue, a street performer.
You may be tempted to throw money. Don't do this if you don't mean it. Remember that these are students, and therefore they’ll gladly take it.
Some will look up scouring their eye-line for clues; others will look down to consult a map or an app.
They'll roll the name of their desired destination around their mouths, like an incantation, in the hope of being divinely pulled in the right direction.
Come unto me the lost and baffled and I will give you directions.
And then … aha! A moment of clarity, a Damascene conversion, a comfortingly familiar building name or room number is located on a sign
You have reached your destination.
Sign No.3: There'll be queues outside lecture theatres.
They’re there early. Gathered. Eager. The space has to adapt and expand to stow them all together: new alcoves, doorways, crevices. Their hula-hoops of personal space get bent out of shape.
And then ... the dam breaks, the door opens and the previous lecturer releases their hold on the room and the great displacement of bodies can begin again. One module's worth of bodies being exchanged for another. The seats still warm.
This will tail off.
Not the unnerving sensation of pre-warmed seats. That's an evergreen treat. No, the eagerness. The early arrivals. The promptness.
They won't always be as anxious to please their tutor:
- Overheard on campus February 2009: Lecturer: "Well maybe if you took your headphones out you’d have known what I said". Student: "Oh, I can hear. I just wasn’t paying any attention".
And some will find themselves having to leave early ... but not always managing to ..
- Tweeted from campus October 2009: "A student tried to inconspicuously leave a lecture early tonight except ... she went into a cupboard instead of through the door."
 |
| Their bags won't always have such a smiley face as my own work bag does. |
And they'll have the lopsided shoulders to prove it.
[I'm possibly still bitter about carrying the 2000 page breeze-block of a book the Norton Anthology of Poetry around for at least the whole of my first year.]
But it's not only bags they'll have with them ... it's what's inside them too, it's notebooks, and pens, and those rarely-spotted-beyond-winter items: books.
Soon many will have lost any pens they started term with; which is round about when promotional events/stalls offering free pens suddenly become popular.
- Overheard on campus November 2009: "Sitting here, I’ve picked up a free pen. So I’m one up already."
Or so they'd have you believe.
Those of us sitting behind them, reading over their shoulders, will know that they are in fact on Facebook, sending texts, or playing games.
So yes, if you're on campus in October you'll see plenty of bags on display [you might even spot the one you bought your offspring to take with them, because you thought they would need it.] ... but after that ... well, the bags will either vanish altogether [at the point where just bringing themselves, fully clothed and conscious to a 9am lecture seems optimistic] or else ... the bags will just start shrinking ...
- Overheard on campus 2008: “I’m having a small-bag day today” “What’s that then? What’s in it?” “One pen, a lipstick…and lots of keys”.
Sign No.5: You'll be able to guess their allegiances.
Fashion, personal style, eccentricities: they're all something you'd expect to be on display at university. It's neither school nor work, there's no dress code, no uniform, no need to fit in with everybody as you'll spend a lot of time working with like-minded souls on your particular course.
And in those first few weeks, while exploring and expressing their personality students' style can be very singular.
Dressed, as they are, in a distilled essence of ‘me’ they can appear as exaggerated displays of who they are and what they like. Their outfits will boldly declare their allegiances; setting themselves up as ‘this’ type of person as against ‘that’.
'And my tribe shall know me by my Dragon Ball Z back-pack / my Walter White sweat-shirt / my pork pie hat that really doesn't go with my rain coat'.
Of course this personal style lasts beyond the first month [assuming of course that they conquer the use of the washing machines in the halls of residence that is], but their wish to be recognised as a particular kind of character is perhaps never so acute as in those initial stages.
And, finally, they may well want to be themselves ... but at the same time ...
Sign No.6: They just really want to be liked.
If, after looking out for the first 5 signs I've offered here, you're still not sure what time of year you find yourself in then look into the eyes of the nearest student ... the clues are there.
When a First Year wanders around [see Signs 1 + 2 above] perhaps lost, definitely awkward, a look at their eyes will reveal how they're thrilled they are to suddenly spot people they know. Even if they just met them that week. That day. 5 minutes ago.
Their eyes and their very being lights up to see a familiar face; like a soldier's child seeing their father arrive home safely from war.
As they trail around learning the lay of the land, following get-to-know-the-campus scavenger hunts, tagging on to each others coat tails, you'll notice how eager to please they appear. How vulnerable.
There's something biddable about them; something of the toddler, the puppy.
There they sit, having coffee with new friends, thinking they’re the very epitome of cosmopolitan nonchalance. But look closely and you’ll see that their eyes and body language are reminiscent of your own when, in that recurring dream you have, the toilet cubicle door suddenly turns transparent. [Just me?]
Like everything else [crowds, bags, punctuality] this fervour, this hopefulness, this desire for connection, this honeymoon period won't last for long. In a month's time those faces which they initially delighted in seeing will begin to repel them.
Like the morning-after-the-night-before they'll become embarrassed they got so close to someone whose work-ethic, politics, personal hygiene, capacity for alcohol etc varies vastly from their own.
So, those are my 6 signs that will tell you you're on a university campus in the *first month* of term. Use them how you will ...
Next time you're on the end of a phone with your First Year, you can at least have a broad brush idea of what's going on around them when you call. Feel free to pass this post on to them to see how much of it they've experienced so far themselves.
Or if you're going to be that First Year then hopefully this will take some of the mystery out of it. After your UCAS and loan paperwork is sorted you can now do some guided meditation picturing yourself in each setting ... working out how you'll respond. Forewarned is forearmed an'all.
And if you find yourself on a campus in the next month - or any start of term - feel free to use the 6 signs as a 'First Month Bingo' game. Give yourself a prize for spotting any of the scenarios mentioned in this post, things like:
Fashion, personal style, eccentricities: they're all something you'd expect to be on display at university. It's neither school nor work, there's no dress code, no uniform, no need to fit in with everybody as you'll spend a lot of time working with like-minded souls on your particular course.
And in those first few weeks, while exploring and expressing their personality students' style can be very singular.
Dressed, as they are, in a distilled essence of ‘me’ they can appear as exaggerated displays of who they are and what they like. Their outfits will boldly declare their allegiances; setting themselves up as ‘this’ type of person as against ‘that’.
'And my tribe shall know me by my Dragon Ball Z back-pack / my Walter White sweat-shirt / my pork pie hat that really doesn't go with my rain coat'.
Of course this personal style lasts beyond the first month [assuming of course that they conquer the use of the washing machines in the halls of residence that is], but their wish to be recognised as a particular kind of character is perhaps never so acute as in those initial stages.
- Overheard on campus October 2013: “I'm easily distracted, I meant to look for books but I ended up searching for a 'How to Train Your Dragon' sew-on patch instead”.
- Overheard on campus November 2014: “I’ve been brewing my own mead.”
And, finally, they may well want to be themselves ... but at the same time ...
Sign No.6: They just really want to be liked.
If, after looking out for the first 5 signs I've offered here, you're still not sure what time of year you find yourself in then look into the eyes of the nearest student ... the clues are there.
When a First Year wanders around [see Signs 1 + 2 above] perhaps lost, definitely awkward, a look at their eyes will reveal how they're thrilled they are to suddenly spot people they know. Even if they just met them that week. That day. 5 minutes ago.
Their eyes and their very being lights up to see a familiar face; like a soldier's child seeing their father arrive home safely from war.
There's something biddable about them; something of the toddler, the puppy.
There they sit, having coffee with new friends, thinking they’re the very epitome of cosmopolitan nonchalance. But look closely and you’ll see that their eyes and body language are reminiscent of your own when, in that recurring dream you have, the toilet cubicle door suddenly turns transparent. [Just me?]
Like everything else [crowds, bags, punctuality] this fervour, this hopefulness, this desire for connection, this honeymoon period won't last for long. In a month's time those faces which they initially delighted in seeing will begin to repel them.
Like the morning-after-the-night-before they'll become embarrassed they got so close to someone whose work-ethic, politics, personal hygiene, capacity for alcohol etc varies vastly from their own.
- Overheard on campus November 2012: "I don't know what to put. It says 'Interests' but I don't have any interests and you can't put 'socialising'".
- Overheard on campus March 2008: Student on mobile phone: "You threw up on your bed? Awww that’s the worst that! You know what’s funny though? Did you still sleep in it even though you’ve threw up? Yeah! I’ve done that!! Just get a bacon sandwich and Lucozade down you!"
- Overheard on campus November 2010: "I'm pretty sure I ended up in hospital last night, I have a vague memory of being laid on a bed with a curtain around it."
**************************************
So, those are my 6 signs that will tell you you're on a university campus in the *first month* of term. Use them how you will ...
Next time you're on the end of a phone with your First Year, you can at least have a broad brush idea of what's going on around them when you call. Feel free to pass this post on to them to see how much of it they've experienced so far themselves.
Or if you're going to be that First Year then hopefully this will take some of the mystery out of it. After your UCAS and loan paperwork is sorted you can now do some guided meditation picturing yourself in each setting ... working out how you'll respond. Forewarned is forearmed an'all.
And if you find yourself on a campus in the next month - or any start of term - feel free to use the 6 signs as a 'First Month Bingo' game. Give yourself a prize for spotting any of the scenarios mentioned in this post, things like:
- a flowing crowd
- someone halting without warning to read a map
- an interminable queue
- a bag / book / pen
- a look of terror
- a puppy-like gaze
- a 'vivid' outfit
- etc
**************************************
For the record: Yes, all those overheards are genuine.
I've been scribbling them down in my notebooks and in the unused pages of my work diaries since I started working there; I've been tweeting them since I found Twitter; and I've been thinking I should compile them into a book since ... forever.
I've been scribbling them down in my notebooks and in the unused pages of my work diaries since I started working there; I've been tweeting them since I found Twitter; and I've been thinking I should compile them into a book since ... forever.
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